St. Louis, MO

How ‘Tuned In’ is Your Child to Your Emotions?

Let’s face it: we all have bad days.  Sometime things get piled up or four or five things go wrong.  We may or may not verbalize our feelings, frustrations or in general our emotions.  But we live with children who are keen observers.  They also have bonded with us and are sensitive to our feelings.

So it this wrong or is it part of living in a family?  I do believe we live in a family and experience life as it happens.  The toilet clogs, the washer breaks, one of our little ones runs a temperature all night, the dog throws up, and on and on. 

How we handle our emotions is important.  We model behavior to our children who are always observing.  It may be the language we use, how we respond to someone on the phone, how we take care of household tasks, or interact with family members. 

          You can reduce your tension by:

  • Getting away from the problem for a few minutes, doing something enjoyable
  • Turning on soothing music
  • Using deep breathing
  • Reading a wonderful story to  your child
  • Writing down what you are feeling
  • Or writing down the next steps in solving a problem

Our children seem to absorb our tension. Even if we do not verbalize it, our nonverbal expressions and body movements are sensed by your child. Perhaps we need to:

  • Tell your child you are upset with the situation, but not with her.
  • If appropriate, tell her you feelings and why and how you are handling them.
  • Focus on reassuring her, you will work things out and she does not need to worry.
  • Do a fun activity together. 
  • Handle the problems during her naptime or when she is in bed.

Not all days are ‘bad’.  Many are filled with the blessings of life. Perhaps it is a great day and everything is going according to plan (yes, this can happen) Enjoy it and share those feelings with your child

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